Love is Eternal
I woke up this morning thinking it was going to be just another normal day, woke up, got ready, went to the gym, my morning eye candy next to me.
And as I was there lifting the weights, I busted out in tears, and uncontrollable water works fell down my face. I was so embarrassed to let anyone see me cry, that I quickly cleared them up.
Then I went onto the next machine, walking almost completely incoherent, I dropped my phone not once, not twice, but three times before I fi...nally sat down. Then once again the tears started to flow down my face. Then finally I realized, maybe the gym wasn't for me today.
I got back in my car, and realized the person I love just got on a plane last night and left to Bulgaria. Initially I didn't know how to process this information, I had months of advance preparation knowing this could and would happen, but never really knew how it would feel when it did.
I remember in the beginning, I told him not to stop his life for me, that if he planned on going that he should go, and continue with his plan. And now that it is at the point, I'm glad that he did.
I never really knew what unconditional love meant, until I had my daughter. I love her regardless of her actions, thoughts, and behaviors, there may be things she does that I do not prefer, but it doesn't mean I love her any less. My love for her isn't conditional.
And like many people falsely believe that love is conditional, a person has to be a certain way for me to love them, but that is not true.
We can still love a person regardless of their actions, even if we prefer not to see them doing it. It doesn't mean you approve of what they are doing and still stay knowing it hurts you.
It means you love them regardless of how they think, feel, and act towards themselves and towards you. They are free to believe whatever it is they want and you still love them.
When it came to relationships, I gave between a mixture of conditional and unconditional love, because every time I gave what I thought was unconditional I got hurt for being too naive and hopeful. And every time I gave conditional love it felt false because I was protecting myself from truly being vulnerable.
But it was this last person, that really allowed me to see that unconditional love could exist outside of its normal realms of society. That regardless of their action, thoughts, or behavior you still love them unconditionally.
He starts a new chapter of his life, with new adventures, new people, and new memories, and I am so incredibly happy for him. Not only is he continuing his plan, his strength allows me to see my strength, and continue on with mine.
I will always love him and hold him in my heart regardless of space, distance, or time, because love is not separate it is eternal.